I have been in a dating relationship for almost six months now, and Lord willing, I will be getting married some time later in the year. I thank God for my relationship, largely because I have experienced His grace, mercy and loving care in ways that I could not have imagined. Being in a relationship has taught me to die to myself, and that God placed me on this planet for so much more than my selfish pleasures.
So when I came across this book, Love Bila Regrets, I read it with mixed feelings. You see, I have made all the mistakes described in this book (that is, in my previous relationships). I have asked a girl out without thinking about marriage, I have shunned accountability in my dating relationships, I have dated an unbeliever, I have committed sexual sin… you name it. I’ve been through it all.
I am not proud of it. Every sin and mistake is highly regretted. I would not want to live through any of it, given another shot. Yet, for some strange reason, I look back at that past with gratitude, because God has used it to define and refine me into the image of His Son Jesus Christ.
Reading through the nine chapters of the book by John Musyimi and Mark Ambundo was like a stroll through my own dark past. Continue reading Book Review: Love Bila Regrets
Here are some great reads that are bound to make your Thursday worthwhile:
- GET TO CHURCH EARLY. I think this article was written with me (Cornell) in mind. I’ve been getting to church and meetings quite late lately. This is not good. I need to change this. I am going to change this. Starting yesterday. How about you? Do you need to work on your church arrival time? Please read this post and find out why this is important.
- Yesterday I shared an interesting quote on marriage, by Francis Schaeffer. I thought this Boundless article on SETTLING might clarify some questions that many of us may have about the possibility of not having your ideal marriage: “Everybody settles when they decide to get married. Or nobody settles. Or is it both-and?”
- REPENTANCE VERSUS DEFENSIVENESS. Gavin: “Our default mode – in and out of the church – seems to be defensiveness. I know mine is. Nothing is more natural when we feel threatened by a criticism than to divert, distract, and downplay. Its as instinctive as flinching when a punch is coming.”
- Lastly, in PEACE-MAKING: A GOSPEL NECESSITY, Caroline Albanese exhorts us to pursue reconciliation as a Gospel imperative: “It’s a strange thing when you see believers in the church who will not speak to one another but talk to everyone else about the person with whom they have conflict. If God has reconciled us to himself through Christ, how can we not pursue reconciliation with one another?“
Have a blessed reading time and don’t forget to read your Bible!
“If we refuse to move, physically, morally, or psychologically, short of perfection, we will not have what we can have.” – Francis Schaeffer
The highlight of my 2013 reading list (so far) has to be the book True Spirituality by Francis Schaeffer. In this book, he talks about the various challenges that the Christian faces in his quest to be truly spiritual and live for Jesus in the everyday moments of his life. In Chapter 11: Substantial Healing of the Total Person, he uses an insightful illustration about marriage. I thought I should share it with you. I found it quite helpful:
I am not to say, “I must be thus,” and if it is not thus, there is nothing but psychological despair. Some people are totally caught in this, but all of us have something of it within ourselves, swinging pendulum-like between conceit and despair. This is true not only in the psychological area, of course; it is true in all relationships of life. One does not have to have had much pastoral experience to have met married couples who refuse to have what they can have, because they have set for themselves a false standard of superiority.
They have set up a romanticism, either on the romantic side of love or the physical side, and if their marriage does not measure up to their own standards of superiority, they smash everything to the ground. They must have the ideal love affair of the century just because they are who they are! Certainly many of the multiple marriage and divorce situations turn upon just this point. One couple refuses to have less than what they have set as a romantic possibility, forgetting that the fall is the fall. Another may want sexual experience beyond what one can have in the midst of the results of the fall.
You suddenly see a marriage smashed – everything gone to bits, people walking away from each other, destroying something really possible and beautiful – simply because they have set a proud standard and refuse to have the good marriage they can have.
We wait for the resurrection of the body. We wait for the perfect application of the finished work of Christ for the whole man. We wait for this, but on this side of the fall, and before Christ comes, we must not insist on “perfection or nothing,” or we will end with the “nothing.”
There’s enough in there to munch on for weeks!